Fork it over

Sometime in the past 12 hours, all of the forks in my house appear to have magically disappeared. 

This, during my mad search for a dinner utensil, has led to me having plenty of time to consider how such an event could have occurred.

My favorite scenario to this point is imagining some sort of Silence Of The Lambs-esque psycho murderer stealing all my forks so he could splice them together into sporks. 

Or a Fork Rapture, where all the forks in the world rise into heaven, poking holes into the angel's feet.

I will make more cohesive sense once I actually eat something. Of course in order to do that, I need a fork.

BIRTHDAY POST

There's been some confusion as to the ACTUAL date of Tim Quievryn's birthday. 

My first thought was to ask Quiqui's parents. But seeing as I don't know them and neither of them have accurately remembered his birthday for the majority of his life, I resorted to just asking Tim, himself.
 And, as confirmed by the Q man himself, he is (to the best of his knowledge) born on the 12th.
...At least legally, on his license.

As you might recall, I received little notice for Tim's half birthday. But this time, I am fully prepared. Since the recent release of Jurassic world, I stumbled across this beauty. 

 I decided to take it upon myself to recreate this picture with a few minor adjustments....

(psychedelic moose is back)
After this picture I can almost hear people's outrage "why is he holding a gun?? Is that too un-Canadian???" Well, ever since Tim's recent decent into becoming a criminal fugitive, I gave him the liberty of holding a gun for this one picture.

Happy birthday, Tim. You're an inspiration to us all.

Rude Awakening

On the flight this morning, I was shaken awake by a six-year old who needed to know, right now, what my name was.

"Tim", I told her groggily.

"COOL!"

(A few seconds of silence)

Criminal on the RUN (okay, not really)

I received a series of piled up voicemails on my phone this morning (seeing as I've mostly had my phone off while in Mexico).

It was Thrifty Car Rental politely informing me that I'd never returned my Iowa car rental and that I had 48 hours to set the record straight or they would report the car as stolen. This was the first message and it was on Tuesday. So late Thursday's message informed me the car was now considered stolen and I should be advised that I may be arrested.

This was slightly alarming since I've had my passport scanned three times a day at the U.S. Mexico border for the last week.

However, it was very exciting because, between being detained in a Mexican jail on suspicion of smuggling heavy construction equipment and now this, I had gone from:

in a single week.

Anyway, I suppose I did have to call and get the record straight. After a forty minute wait, Angie from Thrifty told me

 Then we had a big laugh. Well, I did.

Mexican Jail

Tax Day Fools

Why is "tax day fool" not a thing?

(long pause)

(Government fires ICBM at your house)

Half Birthday

As many of you VERY dedicated Quievrwin fans may know, (and if you don't know, then shame on you), today is Tim's half birthday!

I am (apparently) not a very dedicated Quievrwin fan, seeing as I found this out this morning. Being as I wasn't given ample time to prepare, here is some half finished artwork for this post.

Think of it as one of those pictures in coloring books, where you have to draw the rest of it. Just print it out and finish the rest of it with your vivid imagination.

If you're having trouble, please examine the sample version below:

--
I'm not Tim Quievryn, but I approve this message.